10 Essential Oils for Love, Libido and Fun in the Bedroom

Looking to spice it up in the bedroom? Check out these top 10 essential oils for love, libido and fun in the bedroom. I’ll also share my DIY sensual massage oil and DIY personal lubricant too. Time for date night in…

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Closeup of essential oil bottles, body brush and bath salts with flowers in the background

Have you ever walked down the intimates section at the drugstore? You know where the massage oils and personal lubricants are located? Well, if you turned over those bottles and check out the ingredients you would be shocked. They typically loaded with toxic ingredients (such as parabens, petroleum-based ingredients, phenoyxethanol, glycerin, propylene glycol and chlorhexidine) that can be found in industrial cleaners.

Do you want that on your body? Or how about in your mouth… you know when things get fun in the bedroom? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Keep reading to find out how to use essential oils for romance, libido and fun in the bedroom, how to make your own DIY personal lubricant and massage oils, and where to get the best quality essential oils.

Why Do Quality Essential Oils Matter?

Think of this this way… you’re using these essential oils, massage oils, and personal lubricant on delicate body parts. While you may have never thought about it before, your skin is the largest organ in your body. So while those oils are on your skin or your delicate parts, they are getting absorbed into your bloodstream.

Not to mention, when things really get spiced up you could even end consuming them. I mean, you have heard of edible massage oil right?

So only use essential oils (here’s what I recommend) and carrier oils like coconut oil and almond oil (the base for the massage oils) that are the best quality. For essential oils, I love Young Living. They can actually be used internally. In addition, look for carrier oils that are organic and cold-pressed.

Arousing Aromas

Scent also plays a huge role in romance. Our sense of smell is directly linked to the limbic system, the most primitive part of the brain associated with emotions and memories.

Of course, some fragrances will get your motor running more effectively than others. Aphrodisiac scents can help to soothe the body, relax the mind, boost self-confidence, improve circulation, and invigorate the senses to bring one to the right state of mind for experiencing love and romance.

Essential Oils for Love, Relaxation and Arousal

We’re not just biochemically linked to feel aroused through our senses. Essential oils reduce stress and elevate mood. This in itself can promote increased feelings of sensuality and energy. Think about it, the more relaxed you are the easier it is to get in the “mood”, right? So, Essential oils really have two roles in increasing libido.

How to Use Essential Oils for the Bedroom

Essential oils can help to increase libido and enhance performance for both men and women. To use essential oils specifically for romantic situations, you could choose to use them as perfume or cologne to help you and your partner get in the mood. To create a distinctive and appealing scent, blend essential oils together.

Essential oils may also be used in other ways, aside from just for their sexy scent. Adding essential oils to bath salts can provide you aromatherapy benefits as you soak and get ready for date night. Or you could prepare a romantic massage for your partner using an essential oil blend for romance. If you have a dinner and wine planned, use an essential oils diffuser and diffuse some romantically smelling essential oils in the background to subtly set the mood.

10 Essential Oils for Romance, Libido and Fun in the Bedroom

1. Sensation

Using this essential oil for love and allure! Made with coriander, ylang ylang, bergamot, jasmine and geranium, Sensation is alluringly fragrant and exotic. It’s very romantic, arousing and helps to amplify a little excitement in the bedroom.

I use it to spray bedding or pillows to set the mood, or wear as a perfume on my neck and wrists. It instantly gets the attention of my husband.

2. Black Pepper and Peppermint

Why this duo? Black Pepper gives a little heat and Peppermint cools things off. The mixture is heavenly when applied to the thighs (try 1 drop of Black Pepper and 1 drop of Peppermint with 1 tsp of carrier oil) will definitely heat things up in the bedroom.

And word to the wise, if you don’t already have coconut oil in your bedroom and bathroom – DO IT! It works amazingly as a personal lubricant, massage oil, moisturizer and so much more. Check out my blog post on the 50+ uses for coconut oil.

3. Joy

Made with bergamot, ylang ylang, lemon, coriander, tangerine, jasmine, Roman chamomile and palmarosa, Joy has a similar scent to Sensation with stronger notes of geranium. It’s incredibly uplifting and helps to boost my mood. I wear it as perfume mixed with a little carrier oil. It smells divine when diffused and can really help to set a romantic mood.
I like to make my own intimate massage oil with Joy. I mix 5-7 drops of Joy with 1 oz. of coconut oil and store in a glass jar. When the mood strikes, I use this as needed.
Closeup of rose petals on a pink background with a bottle of massage oil

4. Ylang Ylang

With a faintly sweet floral scent similar to gardenia or plumeria, Ylang Ylang was used to cover the beds of newly married couples on their wedding night. It’s no surprise that blends like Sensation and Joy, which both help to promote romance, contain Ylang Ylang.
I wear Ylang Ylang as perfume, diffuse to set a romantic mood, and apply topically (neat or with a little coconut oil) on my thighs, lower abdomen or VitaFlex points on the feet to inspire some fun in the bedroom. It always seems to get me in the mood – especially when applied neat to the thighs.

5. Idaho Blue Spruce

Idaho Blue Spruce is an exclusive oil that is distilled directly from Young Living’s St. Maries farm in Idaho. It has a masculine, evergreen pine scent that smells wonderful on men.
I like to mix Idaho Blue Spruce (5 drops) with Ylang Ylang (3 drops) in 1 oz of coconut oil to make a wonderful sensual massage oil just for men. I apply to the thighs and massage on the back on my husband to help set the mood. It can be used as a men’s cologne too. This combination of essential oils is known to get the horse out of the barn, if you know what I mean.

6. Hong Kuai

Hong Kuai is a tree found in the mountain rainforests of Taiwan. It’s incredibly high in sesquiterpene content, which means Hong Kuai is like getting a boost of liquid confidence.

With its woodsy aroma, it’s perfect for men as a cologne. Here’s a great recipe to increase feelings of romance, perseverance, and confidence for men: Mix 2 drops of Hong Kuai, 1 drop of Ylang Ylang and 1 drop of Blue Spruce. Apply to thighs, neck and VitaFlex points on the feet.

7. Goldenrod

Goldenrod helps to support the circulatory system. As the name suggests, Goldenrod can be used on well… let’s just say it will make a man feel like a king. It’s not called Goldenrod for nothing.
It can be applied to the lower abdomen, ankles, or VitaFlex points on the feet either neat or diluted.

8. Mister

Mister is a blend of sage, fennel, lavender, myrtle, peppermint, and blue yarrow in a base of sesame seed oil. It can be used as a men’s cologne and used to promote inner balance.

I often pair Mister with Idaho Blue Spruce and Ylang Ylang for an intoxicating, arousing massage oil and apply to the VitaFlex points on the feet, ankles and lower abdomen.

9. Clary Sage

Clary Sage is the equivalent to Mister but for women. It has a mild, warm herbal scent that is relaxing and helps to promote inner balance and reduce stress. It has natural phytoestrogens.

I like to combine a few drops of Clary Sage and Ylang Ylang or Sensation with a few drops of coconut oil for a sensual massage oil. Apply to the VitaFlex points on the feet, ankles and lower abdomen.

10. Lady Sclareol

Lady Sclareol is a blend of rosewood, vetiver, geranium, orange, clary sage, ylang ylang, sandalwood, sage lavender, jasmine and Idaho Tansy. It has a seductive and alluring scent for both men and women – perfect for those special moments in the bedroom.

I like to apply to my neck and wrists as a perfume (which instantly attracts my husband) and mixed with a carrier oil to a warm bath to enjoy with my husband.

How To Make a DIY Lubricant – Step by Step

Using essential oils for love and lubrication! This DIY Personal Lubricant has a warming and cooling sensation. It feels amazing.

  1. Add 10 drops Sensation blend or Ylang Ylang, 4 drops Black Pepper, 4 drops Peppermint essential oils to a 2 oz pump or dropper glass bottle.

  2. Shake well and leave on the bedside table.

  3. To use, shake well before use. Pour 1-2 tsp amount into the palm of the hand. Rub on body parts where you need the personal lubricant… and yes I mean those delicate parts. You’ll feel a cool and warm sensation. If the sensation is too strong, dilute with carrier oil like coconut oil.


Closeup of flowers, essential oil bottles on a white background for a spa

Top Tips for Using Essential Oils for the Bedroom

  • Blend essential oils with coconut oil for a sensual massage.
  • Apply essential oils to your neck and wrists for an alluring perfume.
  • When using the oil mix as a lubricant, If the sensation is too strong, dilute with carrier oil like coconut oil.
  • For the men – Idaho Spruce is a great for a cologne and has been known to promote arousal.

How to Get Started with Essential Oils

Check Out These Other Romantic Ideas

  • Get in the shower and give each other a sensual body scrub with this DIY Coconut Brown Sugar Scrub. It’s a great way to exfoliate the skin too. Just be careful not to use on delicate body parts.
  • Take a relaxing epsom salt bath together with this DIY Bath Salts recipe.
  • Give each other a sensual massage with almond oil or fractionated coconut oil and add 3-4 drops of essential oils that help to get in the mood (like the ones I mentioned above).

Did you try these essential oils for love, libido fun in the bedroom? Don’t forget to comment below to let me know how it went. You can also FOLLOW ME on FacebookInstagram and Pinterest to see what other fun things I’m getting up to.

roases and bottles of essential oils

DIY Personal Lubricant

Don't Mess With Mama
Forget the store-bought lubricants. They're loaded with chemicals, synthetic fragrances, and preservatives that you don't want anywhere near your body. Instead make this easy DIY Personal Lubricant that has a warming and cooling sensation. It feels amazing! Just leave it on the bedside table and use it when the mood strikes. 
4.50 from 16 votes
Prep Time 1 minute
Total Time 1 minute


  • Add all ingredients to a 2 oz pump or dropper glass bottle. 
  • Shake well and leave on the bedside table.
  • To use, shake well before use. Pour 1-2 tsp amount into the palm of the hand. Rub on body parts where you need the personal lubricant... and yes I mean those delicate parts. You'll feel a cool and warm sensation. If the sensation is too strong, dilute with carrier oil like coconut oil.
Keyword diy, diy lube, diy lubricant
Tried this recipe?Mention @dontmesswithmama on Instagram
Feature photo credit: Bigstockphotos.com / KatrinEra, 9dream studio

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  1. Thank you for all the suggestions! Regarding the recipe, are ylang ylang and black pepper safe to put in the mouth? I didn’t think so.