When I read the blog post “Does Facebook Wreck Marriages?” in Smart Money, which says that “More than a third of divorce filings last year contained the word Facebook,” I had to pause to think about my own situation. Oddly enough, Facebook has had the exact opposite effect on my marriage.
My husband and I use Facebook (as well texting and IM) to communicate with each other because frankly, with work, kids, household chores, after-school activities, social engagements and other priorities, sometimes it’s the only way we can. Lately, we rarely have a minute to talk to each other face to face until the kids go to bed. Facebook is a great way for us to stay connected.
Here’s a perfect example: My husband called to let me know he was going out with friends after work. He didn’t go into details as to where he was going or with whom, but I knew I’d be able to get all that information – including the restaurant check-in – from his Facebook status. Once I knew where they were eating, I posted a comment on his status asking him to bring me some takeout on his way home. He got to hang out with his friends, and I got dinner. Win-win.
We also use Facebook is to pay each other compliments. Sometimes I have a hard time hearing compliments in person: My husband will tell me I look beautiful or sexy, but it feels funny to hear it. I may be too self-deprecating in real life, but on Facebook he’ll write a long compliment about what a good mother I am or how lucky he is to be married to me, and there’s just something so satisfying about seeing it written rather than hearing it. For us, Facebook has replaced the love letters we used to send each other back in the late ‘90s.
For Mother’s Day, my husband posted a status message wishing all of his friends who were mothers to have a great day. He then talked about how much he appreciated me. It was so loving and sweet – and really, he said it so much better than a Hallmark card.
Continue reading this post at Redbook’s Mamarama blog.